I know it sounds odd to say we can “grow” calmness, but I believe we can!

Think about it, think about a moment when you felt calm. For me, I think about drinking a warm cup of coffee on a Saturday morning when I don’t have to fly out the door to drive kids somewhere. I think about getting out of a long, hot shower at the end of a busy day, or finishing a wonderful meal with friends. Calm hits me, and I’m happy. Now that I know what calmness feels like in my own world, I consciously schedule it into my day to practice it for longer periods of time; hence, I grow and nurture it. But not all of us naturally notice a calm moment, or a warm feeling. Some of us have to be told to periodically practice standing still and taking three deep breaths, slowly inhaling and exhaling, breathing in and out…

I have found that dogs are very much the same, sometimes it just doesn’t come naturally to them either. Instead, they need help learning how to grow calmness. A few years ago, I worked with a client who had a high energy dog and they hiked about 6-10 miles every day. They contacted me because their dog had issues settling and being calm in the house. The first thing we discussed was what these hikes actually looked like, and how the dog spent the rest of the day. We found that this dog was becoming a well-conditioned, superior athlete. However, the dog was getting such an adrenaline rush from the outings, it was difficult for them to be calm in the house. We had to re-evaluate how the owner spent time with their dog, and switch up their actual activities together.

If you are struggling with lack of calmness, ask yourself why you do what you do.

Does the activity with your dog really benefit both of you? For instance, we assume our dogs should go for a walk every day, regardless of how enjoyable the walk may be (for us or the dog). In reality, some dogs just don’t benefit from typical neighborhood walks. Maybe they don’t yet have the proper skills to walk calmly on leash, or the environment is just too stressful. Or maybe every day after work, you head off to the beach or park where your dog romps with other dogs. Again, this is not always the best recommendation for every dog.

Are other areas of my dog’s behavior getting worse?

If the type of exercise you are giving your dog does not result in increased calmness at home, then maybe it needs to be re-evaluated and shaken up. Maybe you have a dog where the concept of calmness is an actual skill that has to be taught, practiced and grown.

By making small changes in your daily routine, calmness can be practiced more often than you think.

  • The easiest and biggest change you can make is how you feed your dog. Ditch the food bowl and instead, use the food as rewards for calmness. Feed your dog for standing next to you, while lying on their bed, or looking at you. Or simply feed your dog in the down position in multiple locations around your house. Lastly, practice feeding your dog for taking a play break from another dog.
  • Teach your dog to wait at doorways. This quick pause can be practiced going in and out of EVERY room in your house, not just the front door. As a result, your dog starts to slow down their overall pace and look toward you as if to say “is it ok that I head out now?”
  • Instead of using a ball only for furious fetching, play a game of hide and seek where your dog learns to search and hunt for the ball, engaging their amazing sense of smell. Practice having your dog jump up and “station” on their dog bed or certain pieces of furniture in the house, such as a large chair or ottoman.
  • When out on walks, encourage your dog to jump up and “station”on low retaining walls, large boulders, tree stumps or picnic benches.
  • Take your dog for a car ride to some place new, get them outside on leash and sniff for literally 3 minutes, then back in the car they go. Or maybe don’t even get out of the car, sometimes just a change of scenery is fun for dogs.

The purpose of all these activities is twofold; they engage your dog’s ability to think and problem solve, and they all involve interactions where you can reward them for being calm, instead of having to tell them to be calm. The list of activities really can be endless. My goal is to add to your own toolkit of activities to help keep your dog guessing about the activity of the day. None of these activities need to be long and drawn out. Small changes can have big payoffs, just like those three deep breaths in and out…