What to do when barking takes over the household.
Now that school is out and summer has officially arrived, many of us are experiencing the joys and challenges of having our kids around more often. My oldest daughter recently came home from college, which is a joy. However, at times, it felt like the volume in our house doubled. In reality, there were three of us living here already, so one more person shouldn’t have made that much of a difference, but it did. Dinner conversations got much louder, there was more shouting for other people throughout the house, and there was definitely more laughter. But a few weeks after my daughter got home, we had to ask her to temper her regular speaking voice because it was simply too loud for us. This was pretty easy for her, because she realized that living in a dorm and eating in a dining hall with large groups of people, she learned to talk louder to be heard, and now she didn’t need to.
It all reminded me of when my kids were younger and we had multiple conversations about using your “inside voice” versus your “outside voice.”
We talked about when it was ok to yell and scream, and when it may be less desirable. We discussed the effectiveness of whispering, and practiced soft, calm talking in hopes our children would mirror our actions. More importantly, when they did scream, instead of always yelling at them to be quiet, we often evaluated the situation to figure out why they were screaming in the first place. Sometimes it was appropriate, but sometimes it wasn’t. The consequences for the screaming depended on the situation at hand, until our children learned how to self-regulate on their own.
If you think about why kids scream in the first place, it is very similar to why dogs bark.
Both are trying to express excitement, joy, fear, frustration, or pain. The key is that as parents and dog guardians, it is our job to teach them how to use their voice appropriately to be heard. In essence, we need to teach coping skills to children and dogs. I believe dogs deserve the same attention to learn how to curb barking as we give our kids to learn when it’s acceptable to be loud. Unfortunately, and more often than not, we default to yelling at them to be quiet. Other times, we allow barking, and do nothing at all. As a result, we give dogs mixed signals of when to speak and at what volume and we all end up pretty frustrated.
Most dog owners like it when their dogs bark when someone arrives at the house, it is usually part of the reason why they got a dog.
But they don’t appreciate the constant narration of every dog and every person that walks by the house, or the alert to a new neighborhood sound, or another dog off in the distance, or even dogs on TV. Here is where the line needs to be drawn in the sand. Every member of the household must be on the same page when it comes to dogs vocalizing, consistency is key to decreasing the volume.
Here are some quick tips toward a quieter household:
- Reward silence! If your dog hears an outside sound and alerts toward it, but does NOT bark, give them a treat for being quiet. Place a jar of small treats in your living room for easy access to rewards.
- Make sure your dog is not practicing barking when you are not home. Have them in a room with the fan, TV, or radio on to provide background or white noise.
- Remove visual stimulation. Sometimes eliminating access to the front window can make a world of difference.
- Teach your dog an interruptor sound, such as a kissing sound, to get them to look at you and reward eye contact.
- Teach your dog to move away from the front door or window. Often times, movement and distance makes a dog go silent. Then reward the silence!
- Don’t permit your dog to bark even when playing. Remove them from the situation until they are quiet. Praise, then let them try again.
If you continue to have challenges creating a calmer household, reach out to a professional dog trainer for additional tips, tricks and games to play that create and reward silence.
