My brother and his family recently got a new puppy. This was a very big ordeal, considering his daughter is allergic to most dogs and his wife has had limited experience with dogs in general. For years, my brother dreamed, plotted, and planned (often with my help) about how he could integrate a dog into his family. Well, they all decided to simply bite the bullet and purchase a puppy that is considered a hypoallergenic breed, one that they could all raise together.

My brother hasn’t had a puppy in over 45 years. This is where I come in, because the process can be overwhelming. They’ve had the puppy for about four days now, and we have talked and texted more frequently than we have in quite some time. He and his family are already filled with wonderment, excitement, and, of course, exhaustion.

There is a reason puppies are so adorable and melt your heart just by looking at them. If only that serotonin surge could be bottled….

In all reality, puppies are a pain in the ass. They are a complete and wonderful time suck. They are expensive, can cause damage to your house and your hands. They can quickly turn your world upside down, making you wonder “why did I ever do this?” However, with the proper guidance, these thoughts can be short-lived. If you’ve had children, the biggest upside is that the rate of maturity of a puppy is exponential to that of a child.

As I coach my brother and his family, what I love hearing is that they look at this new addition to the family with curiosity.

For instance, we’ve been discussing house training and crate confining for the puppy. They established a plan, and a back up plan, for when things may not go accordingly. They realize that the puppy is trying to do the best he can with the little knowledge he has. Things change quickly, everything is brand new, and there is so much for him to learn.

They are also being realistic about this little guy. They understand they are working with a pretty clean slate because of the puppy’s age. But they also understand that his underlying temperament will play a key role in his development. Just because he’s a puppy, they aren’t using it as an excuse to hold off on establishing patterns they want from him for a lifetime. And when the second night with the puppy was harder than the first, my brother texted, “Tomorrow will be a different story, but I think I love him.” As soon as I got that text, I knew my brother and his family were gonna be just fine.

Instead of labeling our pets as a puppy, a rescue, as aggressive or reactive, they are all dogs that may or may not have some baggage with them.

Labeling a dog puts them in a box where we believe they will always be, or that the dog will “just grow out of it” on their own. Neither of these statements are correct. Dogs are a reflection of their environment. If we provide them a home that is too noisy, chaotic, isolating, or boring, even the most well-tempered dog will most likely develop behavior issues that may not be appreciated. If we provide them a home that has predictable routines, multiple safe choices, and take the time to learn about meeting their needs, we are off to a fabulous start.

The owners that can look at their dog with a fresh set of eyes each day are the ones that are going to have the best relationship with their dog.

Dog guardians have many options of how they can react to the antics of their dog. The most amazing fact about dogs is that their intentions are usually very pure. They are not trying to control us. We don’t need to control or dominate them. Where we start is to control their environment in the best possible way, and then the dog will follow suit, in the best possible way. The bottom line is that eventually, the guardians will have to do the work. They may be inconvenienced for longer than anticipated, and even feel frustrated or lost at times. If a dog guardian has sought out a reputable positive reinforcement based trainer that uses scientifically driven techniques, these feelings shall quickly pass. Any behavior can be modified. It is up to us to determine the extent of the change.

If you are struggling to find a qualified trainer in your area, consider seeking one out through Positively.com, or Fearfreehappyhomes.com.